i pray expectantly.

Dear Maliyah,

Prayer is the bridge that closes the gap between Heaven and Earth. It is the privilege to have a conversation with our Creator at any moment we need it. Whether it be a passionate cry for Him to work in a situation or praise and adoration lifted up to glorify His name, it is truly the essence of where that intimacy with you and your Father has the potential to grow and become so real.

Through constant prayer and conversation with my Father, I have found a way to weave Him into my every moment and feel His presence wherever I am. It allows me to give up every worry or fear and live in the peace He covers me with. It has the power to take a seemingly hopeless situation and turn it into something unexpected…or better yet expected.

Psalm 5:3 says, “In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.”

There is no power in prayer if we do not believe in whom we are praying to and what we are praying for. Part of the power comes from the belief of the person praying.

When we lift up prayers, we must do it expecting and believing that our Father is on our side, that He loves us, and that He hears us. That if it is in His will, it will be done.

Praying a prayer without faith is like planting a seed in a dark room and hoping it will blossom into a beautiful flower.

It just doesn’t work.

In the same way, we must pray prayers that are full of trust, belief, faith, and expectancy, even when they seem far fetched and out of reach.

Let me give you an example.

Maliyah, know that right now I am about to step into one of my most vulnerable states. Not because I want to, but because I want you to understand the passion behind my belief in praying expectantly and the desperation for which I hold onto my faith in prayer.

The desire to find the man I will spend the rest of my life with is real.

It has been for years. I believe that since the beginning of my existence, there were three dreams planted in my heart- to be a teacher, a wife, and a mother.

I have craved and dreamt of these three things with each beat of my heart.

Fortunately, teaching was something that yes, was in His will for me, but was also something I could go after. It was somewhat in my hands because I was able to go to school for it and pursue the career to make it happen.

Marriage on the other hand, isn’t one I can force and take into my own timing.

It is purely by His will and perfect timing that it happens.

And because of that reason, it has been a very tender spot in my heart. One that on some days is filled with hope and expectation, and on other days is filled with bitterness, despair, and frustration.

Some days, feelings of being content wash over me and other days the burning desire turns into desperation and it penetrates my every thought.

And the frustration in it all is that it is not by my own drive or determination that I can solve the problem.

And so for that reason, I pray.

I pray passionately. Fervently. And most importantly, expectantly.

You see Maliyah, I have been praying for the man my Father will bring me for years. Every single day for years and years.

And I know that the prayers I have been praying are not for no one. I am covering someone in prayer, I’m just not sure who.

I pray over him, our marriage, our relationship, and that I might be daily molded into the woman he will need me to be.

And so every time that a possibility becomes void of hope, another friend finds their happily ever after, or I go months on end without the slightest bit of excitement in my life, I remember my prayers.

My prayers that are heard and that will be answered.

And I know my prayer will not be answered to a minimal extent. Oh no, my expectations will be blown out of the water, and my wildest dreams will look weak compared to what He has in store.

Because of my faithful prayers and belief in how good He is and what He will bless me with, I know that my most perfect match will come my way eventually.

When? I couldn’t tell you. But I know it will come.

So, even when many people assure me my expectations are too high and wonder why I am still on the search, I remember this-it is in His perfect timing that He will bring the perfect one in my life. It is as simple as that.

No stress needed. No need for despair or hopelessness. Bitterness has no place.

And although all of those things are part of my story, they are not the ones that prevail.

They are not the ones that fill my songs. Instead, my songs are full of praise and adoration for who He is, what He has done, and what He will do.

Our Father desires for us to lay our desires, fears, and needs down at His feet. He desires to provide for His children. He desires to make our wildest dreams come true and blow our expectations out of the water. That is just who He is.

But you have to give Him a chance to be that Father by talking with Him. By letting Him into the most frustrating, most ugly, and most imperfect places of your heart.

He can handle it. I promise you.

It is you that can’t handle it. You can’t handle that struggle. At least not without Him. So instead of trying to shut those feelings behind closed doors and pretend like everything is okay, let them out. Be real. Be real with Him. Be real with others.

It is through that conversation, those intimate words exchanged, that the situation changes, and your heart begins to be transformed into one that is expectant of what He has in store.

There is no shame in wanting or desiring. There is no shame in being frustrated and hurt. There is no shame in being honest that you do not have it all together.

Instead, there is confidence in giving Him your worries, desires, and needs. A change of heart in trusting Him. A renewing of your Spirit in believing He will bless you.

For it is by His mercy that we have the ability to come before Him boldly, knowing that He loves us and wants to hear what we have to say.

But come boldly without fear, expecting great things. Expecting for His authorship of your story to be far better than yours. Expecting and believing that His will prevails, and that He does hear your prayers.

So plant the seed, but in a room full of sunlight with plenty of water expectant of the beautiful and glorious flower it will grow into. Waiting patiently, but knowing the outcome will be so worth it.

All my love,

Sissy